


At Sunrise

by Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, M/M, Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 00:59:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10933683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/Ididntsignupforthisshit
Summary: After coming out to his mother, Jared gets kicked out of the house. The night of is a tough one, but Jared's boyfriends are there for him through it. He couldn't have asked for more.Written for a tumblr prompt asking for Sincerely Three and some good ol' Jared Angst™





	At Sunrise

_     “You know it’s wrong, right?” _

_     “Is it something I did?” _

_     “Is it the school you go to?” _

_     “I can’t support that kind of behavior in my household. I will not have you corrupting your little siblings.” _

         Jared fought to keep calm. There were too many emotions swimming around to be calm, he thought. He wanted to scream, shout and lash out. He practically vibrated with anger, tearing at the seems with an unexplainable sorrow that weighed his being down in all the worst ways.

    He was cold. The November air nipped at his exposed arms relentlessly. For one normally so warm, it was alarming.

    He looked out over the city’s lights, wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation as him in that moment, looking over the same lights, their entire being shattering slowly through a million little webbed cracks.

    He rubbed his hands over his arms and curled tighter into himself.

    Here, he had hoped his horrors would fade until they seemed too small to be real.

    Sitting on the roof of his boyfriend’s apartment, he thought he could get a handle on himself. Instead, he could only think about the guilt. He could only think about the disappointment in his mother’s eyes and the underlying anger.

    He could only think about how nice it would be to fling himself over the lip of the roof - to take a moment of freedom to fly before he rids himself from this godforsaken world.

    He took a breath and held it until his lungs ached.

    “Do- um,” Evan’s voice broke the silence for the first time in what felt like hours. Jared didn’t look over to him, merely listened, his fingers gripping his calves like he was physically keeping himself from the edge of the roof. “Do you want to talk about it?”

    Jared shook his head firmly.

     The quiet lapsed around them again, but it didn’t last long - not with the door slamming open and footsteps rapidly crunching on the gravel covering the roof.

    Connor sprinted to them, dropping to kneel next to Jared. He didn’t bother with words, his hands made due. He rubbed over his arms, down his back. He took Jared’s jaw in his hands and directed the younger to look up at him. He gave a little sigh of relief, that didn’t last quite as long as Jared would have hoped. “What the fuck,” he said lowly. “You scared the hell out of us.”

    Jared tucked his chin again, silent for the first time in his life. Connor sighed sharply and sat down, joining the line. His fingers pulled a carton of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and stuck one between his teeth.

    “C-Connor, come on,” Evan snapped, leaning forwards so he could see their boyfriend better.

    “It’s true,” Connor retorted. “You think he can just text us some cryptic shit sounding vaguely like he wants to off himself with no explanation and expect us not to flip the hell out?”

    “Fuck you,” Jared muttered, his nails digging into his palms.

    Connor rolled his eyes, not taking that bait as he flicked his lighter. “What happened, anyway?”

    Another breath. Another second to stall.

    “Mom kicked me out,” he said, his voice was the steadiest thing about his entire being at that moment.

    The soft breeze and the chill felt like the Arctic in the next moment. He could practically feel Connor and Evan tense up beside him.

    “Oh,” Evan breathed. Connor lit his cig, taking a very long drag.

    “Jesus,” he murmured after a moment, smoke pouring from his lips to play on the breeze behind him.

    “Yeah.” Jared agreed hollowly, taking the cigarette from Connor and pulling a drag from it himself. He usually didn’t smoke tobacco. He hated the taste, the burn in his throat. But tonight was a special case. He held the thing between his fingers, staring at the ashes building up on the tip. “I, uh, I told her. And she freaked out.”

    Evan reached over and took his left hand from across his body, squeezing his fingers tightly. Connor scooted in until their thighs pressed together.

    “Are you alright?” Connor asked, his tone softer, now.

    Jared inhaled again on the cigarette again, shrugging wildly as he did. “I’m now homeless, pretty much disowned until I can act like a proper straight person, and my financial security comes from working part time and a goddamn Stripes convenience store. I’m great. Fucking great.” He laughed humorlessly, tapping the cigarette so that the ashes drifted to the gravel in front of him.

    Connor took back his cigarette, and Jared’s hands felt unbearably empty again. He sighed, letting his legs down and adjusting his position until his legs were crossed underneath him.

    “You could stay with us,” Evan said suddenly. “Mom wouldn’t mind. She, um, doesn’t mind about us - you know, she actually  _ likes _ the both of you, and how we’re all dating, so I think she’ll be okay with it.”

    Jared puffed out a little laugh. “You’d do that?” he asked, tone awed as he looked to his boyfriend. Evan gave an earnest, determined nod, a little smile coming to his mouth. Jared leaned over, pressing a small kiss to his lips. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

    “Of course,” Evan breathed back, making a small face at the taste of tobacco on Jared’s mouth.

    “And for your finances, you’ll just have to work full time at Shell now,” Connor joked, lifting the mood between them all considerably, because Jared laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled widely.

    “Gotta make them shell out that cash, right?”

    “Oh my God,” Connor groaned, while Evan just laughed, throwing his head back. Connor took one last breath off of his cigarette before flicking the butt away to the rocks a few feet away. Connor threw an arm around Jared’s shoulders, leaning in to press their lips together in a kiss. “That was awful,” he said, no malice tainting his voice. He pulled back, exhaling heavily into the night air.

    “You know you love me,” Jared taunted, a smirk in his voice.

    Connor snorted. Another kiss, and one from Evan.

    “ _ I _ do,” Evan noted suddenly. Jared frowned, a little confused. Evan licked his lips, blinking a few times as his fingers tugged at the seam of his pants. “L-Love you.”

    Connor hummed in agreement. “Same from over here,” he said, raising his hands, shiny black nail polish reflecting the lights of the city.

    Jared smiled, leaning into Evan’s shoulder, their hands intertwined as Connor’s arm lied over his shoulders, a comfortable weight that left him feeling safe - warm again.

    “Thanks, guys,” he sighed, looking over the skyline again.

    “No problem,” Connor said, retrieving another cigarette from his pocket and began to struggle lighting the thing with just one hand. Jared took the lighter from him, flicking it effortlessly so Connor could light his cigarette. “Thanks,” he said around the smoke stuck between his teeth.

    Jared hummed, dropping the lighter back into his boyfriend’s lap and settled into Evan’s side again.

    They stayed out until the sky lightened, the dawn of a new day. A new chapter of life, if you wanted to be fake-deep and cliche. As they watched the sun come up, Evan half asleep against him and the warmth of Connor beside him, Jared looked at it in the light of new prospects. Hope. Something new and bright. A time to step into the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is from In The Heights. Yes, I am trash. I take full responsibility
> 
> I had a really good time writing this, honestly! Thank you to the anon who sent in the prompt:
>
>> maybe evan/jared/connor or any combo including jared with him being comforted over something? upset, his own possible anxiety, sickness, anything you choose!
> 
> that was Good Shit anon, holy crow.
> 
> Please drop me a comment! I love them dearly
> 
> Oh! [Check out my tumblr!](peanutbutterandbitter.tumblr.com) I take prompts! ......... obviously *rolls eyes at myself*


End file.
